Leaning Into God’s Story in a Season of Transition

Written By: Sharon Hughes

I never thought the verse  “they left their father Zebedee” would mean anything to me. In Mark 1:20, Jesus is calling his first disciples to go and leave behind their most precious possessions, professions and people. But this phrase, staring at me in a totally new light, was more poignant and pressing than ever.

“they left their father Zebedee” 

As I sat on my cozy couch on a frigid January day with my bible open, all I could think about was my sick dad in his sterile hospital room, fighting for his life. No one knew if he was going to make it, and I may have been the biggest doubter.

“God are you serious?! If there was anytime to go this wouldn’t be it.”

However, in some strange way, they were the words I was waiting for. They were the words that gripped my heart in a deep and profound way. Over the last few months my husband and I had started a list of why moving to Cleveland, Ohio from our beloved city of Chicago seemed appealing. After a quick stop over for a work trip, we wrote down what we were drawn to about the once called “mistake on the lake”: the small city vibe, the growing entrepreneurial spirit, the gorgeous lake front, a small church plant we knew could foster growth and community, an inspiring Cleveland-based organization we wanted to volunteer our time…
I also wrote down the time I was in Seattle and overheard ladies talking about their love for Cleveland, how I noticed a “Made in Ohio” stamp on my dishes as I was scrubbing them one night after I put my boys to sleep, and how I noticed “Cleveland Street” in Chicago on my way to a wedding reception. Chicago has a Cleveland Street?!

While my husband and I compiled this list, prayed and waited, second guessed our motivations, and even threw the whole idea away, the words “they left their father Zebedee” suddenly wasn’t a by-gone statement for a group of stinky fishermen. They were words for us, for me. 

And so a few months later after selling our home, breaking the news to our dear family and friends, packing our moving truck and cozying our boys into our van full of boxes and plants and nearest and dearest things, we were on our way.
God gave me a scripture from Isaiah 55:12 to hold onto before we left. 

“For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” 

As we pulled into our new driveway I felt the stripping of my identity. I missed Chicago and my people. In my pride, I felt the void of claiming a world class city as my own. As the months rolled by my husband and I questioned the move, the purpose, the plan. Just as we were emptying out the never ending boxes and cleaning the dusty corners of our home, it felt like we were doing the same thing in our hearts and our marriage. There was pain and years of “stuff” I didn’t even know existed. I felt raw and unraveled and there were moments I felt acutely needy, uncertain, and alone. 

At the same time I saw God’s faithfulness. Relationships with our neighbors began to sprout, our boys became familiar with the local parks, and we felt the encouragement of people we barely knew. There were some beautiful things happening but we found ourselves in this tension of where we were and the present tense. While I knew the Lord was leading, I was waiting on the tree clapping, the joy and the singing. 

As I sat in church the other day, our pastor reminded me of an important truth, one that I’ve needed to hold onto in this season of transition. He talked about how the Israelites questioned God as they were brought out of Egypt and through the Red Sea. They wanted to know where they were going and why. Just like me, they wanted to know how their story played out. But just like me, God called them to a life of faithfulness and to join his story. I have found some common ground with the Israelites. I may not know the end results and can certainly grumble and question along the way, but I can find peace, joy and purpose in knowing God himself, no matter the season. Just like God was faithful then, He is faithful to my family in this season of transition.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace.”

The beautifully unexpected part of this story is my dad experienced physical healing in the process of our move. Leaving my father in some ironic way included some version of restoration for both him and I. After two years of sickness I’ve seen him laugh, play hide-and-seek with my boys and help us with projects around our home. God has been faithful and is writing a beautiful story of redemption and grace. We have built community in Cleveland and with time, feel a settling in this new place we call home. Yet, there are still question marks, longings, and frustrations. There are times I want to rush ahead and see the big picture and times I forget my true identity.

But I lean into a faithful God, the one who called those first disciples as they “left their father Zebedee”, only to realize HE is my loving Father who is with me always, even in transition.