Grace In Gathering
By: Lexie Cassidy
Today I sat in the top row of an old theater and watched two separate friends baptize their sons in a horse trough. Tears ran down my cheeks, soaking my mask, as these men, my pastors, spoke the words "trusting in the confession of your faith, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."
I have prayed alongside these parents for years. Prayed that this day would arrive. I felt such joy and elation for these sons and for their moms, whom I love. I felt hopeful and prayerful that one day my kid would be in that horse trough, with my husband saying those words as he dips them down under the water and back up to new life. I cried for their joy and for my hope and for the kingdom advancing right in front of my eyes, despite the horror happening all around the world at this very moment.
And the wild part is, I didn't even want to come this morning.
See, I have 3 kids: a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a newly 1 year old and Sundays (precovid) were great because my kids learned in their Sunday school classes and I was able to listen and learn at regular service. Unfortunately, Covid has called Sunday school classes to halt. That means yes, my 3 kiddos are with me and that also means, being able to hear the sermon is limited. Sometimes they’re so loud that I have to take one out of the sanctuary to drive his toy cars around. So while I'm cracking the door and trying to catch every 3rd word of the sermon, I start to think that there is no point in us coming. "We distract other people.” “I'm not even hearing the sermon."
During 2020, I got pretty comfortable watching service in my pajamas each Sunday. Selfishly, I enjoyed the break from volunteering at Sunday services. I liked that my husband, a lay pastor, didn’t have to “work” for a 6th day of the week. Not gathering definitely felt different, it felt like loss, but also - in my flesh - I enjoyed it. There is a fullness experienced in life with Christ that is often uncomfortable but just so… good. This honestly felt like the opposite of that - comfortable.
It took us longer to return to services in person, for all the reasons listed above plus a few more. And even though being with other believers felt like something was finally restored that had been missing, it was still really difficult for me to be excited about going.
Hebrews 10:25,
“Let us consider how to stir one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near”.
This was definitely a conviction that I needed to hear. There are reasons to not go to service right now that aren’t selfish, but unfortunately all of mine were. I was more interested in my own comfort than I was in encouraging my fellow Christians and stirring them to love and good works.
And then I would remember scripture about communion like in Luke 22:14-20 when the night before he died Jesus told his followers that he wanted them to remember together the blood that was shed and the body that was broken to bring them back to God (Luke 22:14-20). And Paul doubles down in 1 Corinthians 11 reminding the church at Corinth what communion is for. They were using it as a means of dividing the church but he encouraged them to see its purpose for unity.
Communion together might be the thing I felt the loss of most during 2020 when my church wasn’t gathering. I started to feel isolated, wondering who was even still running this race. It seemed like the world was getting swallowed up in political vitriol and fear of disease.
Communion has gotten increasingly more encouraging for me throughout my life. When I was younger, I just really enjoyed the grape juice, which I still do but mostly I feel a part of something huge and beautiful. As a couple hundred people would line up to essentially say “I need rescue. I cannot rescue myself. I need Jesus. I bring nothing to God - I can only cling to this body and blood poured out. I trust in his sacrifice for me.”
It makes me want to cry and also cheer aloud! A whole group of people, joining with all other believers around the world doing the same thing, joining with all believers through history who have clung to Jesus and remembered his sacrifice and resurrection. I just can’t think of anything more exciting and encouraging.
Augustine said that communion and baptism are visible signs of invisible grace. God is so kind and generous to extend this grace. There were riches that I didn’t even want to accept.
I don't know what it is for you. Maybe it's soccer practice. Maybe it's the fact that a year away from people has left you terrified to be in a room with so many. Maybe it's just your love for pajamas (I hear that!). But let's continue gathering with our local churches even when it feels entirely too inconvenient. Let's let the Lord bless us in this way. Let's accept this grace that He has for us - the grace of fellowship, the grace of communion, the grace of baptism. And all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
