Mom Goals, Life Goals, New Goals
By: Khalilah Shelton
Do you miss the old days? Are there times when you just wish you could eat your chicken sandwich meal without anyone asking for a french fry? Do you love your kids hard AND long for the day when you could just go use the bathroom in peace? Maybe it's a little deeper for you. Maybe the strain of having to be physically and emotionally supportive of someone when you don't feel physically or emotionally strong enough to take care of yourself is weighing on you. You wish you could just steal away for a while, get up and go and come back when you get ready. Mama, you are not alone.
I remember when my kids were three months, two, four and six years old. One morning they were up watching tv. Thankfully, my six-year-old was tall enough to reach the cereal box and pour milk, because I was still in bed. My husband had already gone to work and I did not want to get up. I was struggling with the thought of being “Mommy” that day. That day I didn't want to be “Mommy, can I have…”, “Mommy, he hit me!”, and “Mommy, I'm hungry”. I didn't want to be Mommy, I just wanted to be me.This role of motherhood that was made to glorify and reflect God, had gradually become a place of anxiety. I wanted to be the businesswoman that got to go to fancy lunches and dinners with clients. I wanted to be the engineer that wrote reports and analyzed data. I wanted to take a girls trip on a whim, just because. I wanted the old things, things that made me feel important.
Perhaps you can relate. Maybe your days get filled with fantasizing about what was, not that you don't love your children and not that you aren’t glad to have them, but parenting is hard! So, how do we navigate this hard place of immense love and exhaustion? Well my question would be, what are you pressing toward? What is the goal?
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians 3:12-14)
Paul is writing a letter to the church at Philippi that is meant to encourage them to keep pressing toward Christ. They had been working so hard to make sure that they had done right according to the teachings of Christ but had begun to conform to the world’s way of thinking in some areas. Paul encouraged God’s people to “live in the joy of the Lord - his Kingdom instead of just reacting to their circumstances”*
I have found in parenting that when my mindset changed and I stopped looking back at what I had passed and looked forward to what I had gained, I could find joy.
“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”
-Philippians 3:8
Yes, I had gained my beautiful children, but more importantly, I had gained a love for God and a dependence on Him that I never would have known. I had come to know God in such a way that nothing could ever convince me that He doesn't love me. I know that he made me a mother on purpose and that it is a good thing. He knows my shortcomings and carries me when they are exposed. He knows my strengths and cultivates them for His glory. He knows how silly I am and that on hard days, sometimes that is just what my family needs! When I realized He knew me, I could press forward.
Yes, I miss certain things but I do not long for them anymore. And just as Paul said, “not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”** I’m am not perfect by any means, but it's my daily goal to see myself on mission. I know I have purpose which includes parenting and discipling these little “rewards''***, not because I am so great, but because Christ has made me His own!
Sis, parenting is real, but so is God! Rest assured that you are not alone in your struggles and in the days when you just want your old body back! Try to stop looking back and see what God has for you today. He loves you, He sees you and if you are a follower of Christ, He has made you His own. What are you pressing toward today? What is your “mom goal”, your life goal, your new goal?
References:
*The Tony Evans Study Bible, 2019, Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN
*** Psalm 127:3
